Invader zim plays Halo
by Writer of Sirius
Summary: After playing a horrible earth video game. Zim learns the true power to destroying all human life. He decides to search for the Halo ring. Knowing Dib is hot on his heels he must overcome dangers and other things too horrible to describe. But in the end of this who will destroy the Halo ring? Zim or master chief? And what will GIR do with all those Tacos? Stay tuned.


It was an absolutely wretched day on earth, zim had been spending the last two to three weeks playing horrible earth video games to try and find inspiration for wiping out the humans. The most recent one he played. Was Halo.

Zim: GIR! I grow tired of playing these video games. Perhaps I need to actually start implementing plans out of them. COMPUTER!

The computer beeps in response.

Zim: analyze Halo, so that we can come to a better understanding of the game.

Processing Halo Data.

Zim: yes... What can I get out of this game that I spent the last three weeks playing.

Computer: analysis complete.

Zim: and...?

Computer: Nothing. Zim its just a video game. Its not like there are, *cough cough* Ring shaped planets that can wipe out galactic life.

Zim: you sound like you're hiding something from me. And again why is the computer coughing?

GIR: I WANT TO MAKE SOME TACOS!

Zim: yes... So you do...

Computer: well... There is one Halo ring out there... But I don't think k its exactly like how you think it is zim.

Zim: SILENCE! YOU DARE TO QUESTION MY LOGIC?! YOU DARE TO QUESTION THE LOGIC OF ZIM?!

Computer: I wasn't questioning you for anything.

Zim: HHHHMMMMMMMMmmmmm

GIR: TACOS?!

Zim: GIR just... Go make your Tacos! I have work to do.

GIR: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! IM GONNA MAKE ME SOME OF THEM TACOS!

GIR vaulted out of the room and into the was the sound of an epic explosion followed by debris and pots and pans clattering around..

Zim just palmed his face and went down to the basement.

Zim: Computer, open the door to the control room.

The door opens and Zim makes his way out of the house and into the base. As he does, Dib sneaks in the front door.

Dib: OH MAN! Zim left his house unguarded! This is perfect! Now I can look for secrets!.

There was a sound of a second explosion and refried beans splatter everywhere across the house as GIR laughed happily to himself. Dib peeks into the kitchen and see the unspeakable horror that is GIR making. Tacos.

Dib: that's just disturbing... Now onto... Hey.. Zim doesn't play video games... Or does he?

Dib turned and saw the Halo Combat evolved game menu.

Dib: what would Zim want with a video game called Halo?

Suddenly Zim came back up from the basement and Dib vaulted behind a lamp.

Zim: GIR! STOP ACTING CRAZY!... and stuff. You're making the base smell like refried beans again...

GIR: awwwww but ii love the little Tacos... I love them good...

Zim: just keep it down alright? I'm trying to concentrate om finding a Halo ring so I can destroy the humans.

GIR: OKAAAAAAAAAY!

Zim: *sigh* just stop making so much noise will you?

Zim returns to the basement. GIR returns to blowing the kitchen up

Dib: Oh No... Zim doesn't really believe this exists does it? Maybe I should talk to Gaz... And how did Zim not see me behind a lamp?

Dib ran out of the house. Down in the basement Zim worked on finding the Halo ring. Soon he can across the Halo ring. And its location.

Zim: AHA! yes... Now I have the EXACT location of this Halo... Ring... Thingy...

Zim locked in the target to the Vood cruiser. (Or voot, I'm not even sure what he's saying half the time either)

Zim: now I just need to settle my plan to destroy the humans. COME GIR!

GIR jumped in covered in Tacos and other horrible things that shouldn't be placed in Tacos.

Zim: I found the ultimate weapon to eradicate all life on earth. Let's go and make it happen.

GIR: ooooh. I like annihilating.

Once in the ship, zim made his way out into space to find the Halo.

GIR: are we there yet?

Back with Dib...

Dib: Gaz! Zim is planning to destroy all human life again!

Gaz: Dib... He's always trying to destroy mankind... You act as if this is new.

Dib: But this is serious Gaz! Zim was playing Halo! And he was planning on using a real life halo to wipe out all life on the earth.

Gaz: that's stupid... Doesn't he know that the Halo will kill All life across the galaxy? Including himself?

Dib: wait.. What? So it won't kill all human life?

Gaz:... Grrrrrrr...

Gaz turns on her console and brings up Halo Combat Evolved. She goes to the control room level and plays it for Dib. After watching it, she turns to Dib to see if he got it.

Gaz: now you understand?

Dib: so wait... If it kills all sentient life does that mean humans are safe...? Gaz turned around, picked up Dib and threw him out a window into the trash can.

Gaz: YOURE STUPID!

Dib: awwwww...

Gaz: I'm not going to tell you again Dib, Halos kill ALL life. Even stupid life. So Shut your trap and go do what ever it is you do to annoy me...

Dib: OK... Just chill out.. Geeeze..

Gaz growled as Dib went to Taks ship.

Dib: hey, are there any strange Ring Shaped planets in the Galaxy?

Tak: Of course there are you idiot... People have been building them for millions of years... Like they do Dyson spheres.

Dib: hey I was just asking.

Tak: you always ask me the most stupid and obvious of questions Dib. I'm at you for trying to rewrite my personality with yours.

Dib: Hey I said I was going to fix it.

Tak: and yet I'm still largely broken...

Dib: I did fix you right?

Tak: just get on with it. You want to find a Halo ring then you need to follow me on this. Now, buckle up, I'm not making this ride comfortable for you.

Dib: I can't?! Irkens don't exactly use seat belts do they?!

Tak: not my problem.

Tak takes off clattering Dib around like a bug trapped in a jar. As his ship takes off, people stare at the beautiful glittering star taking off into the sky.

Zim flew around in space for what felt like ages. The stink of GIR and his tacos was nauseating. He fought desperately to keep from passing out from the horrible stink.

Zim: computer... Please recycle the oxygen in the cruiser... NOW! I CANT BREATHE ANYMORE!

Soon the Air conditioning came on and Zim could at last breathe.

Zim: GIR! I told you to stop blowing things up in the kitchen!/you smell worse than that Dib human.

GIR: I got a burrito, want some?!

Zim: uh... No GIR... That's fine.. And were you listening to me?

GIR: what did you say?

Zim: *face palms* you are killing me. GIR! We are nearing the Halo ring. What ever you do. Don't Touch ANYTHING!

GIR: okey Dokie!

GIR sat there staring like an idiot. Zim just turned and went back to concentrating on the task at hand. Soon the Halo loomed into view. Zim could almost taste it he was so eager.

Computer: plot a safe course to landing on the...

Suddenly he was interrupted by the sight of a massive space ship flying overhead. The ship was on fire in several places and being attacked by other distant alien ships.

Zim: eh?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

The large ship that passed Zim flew towards the Halo and was making preparations to land.

Zim: FOOLS! Trying to beat me to the madjesty of the Halo?! NOOOOOO! I SAY NO! BECAUSE IM GOING TO STOP YOU!

Zim began to charge lasers, when suddenly a bolt of blue light hit his ship and made it explode.

Zim: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO! COMPUTER THE SHIP HAS BEEN HIT! WHAT DO WE DO?!

Computer: complete and utter panic.

Zim: not what I was asking... Gir let's panic.

GIR: OKAAAAY I LIKE PANIC!

Zim and GIR began to panic as the ship hurtled towards the Halo ring. Zim mashed buttons, GIR screamed and hit things. The duo watched as the ring became huge before their eyes.

Zim: SWEET jumping jelly beans! This thing is huge!

The ship soon entered the sky and began to feel the effects of reentry. Zim grabbed the ejection level and pulled it so hard it snapped off in his triesd to steer the ship so that it could work accordingly. He crashes into a large rocky plateau. Then the ship ejects him through the dirt hard.

Zim: ow... Once all my pain stops... I will destroy... Whoever hit me...

GIR: *laughs* master ate dirt, I wanna eat dirt too !

GIR kept down and began to eat the dirt. Zim just played there for a few moments gather all his strength back.

Zim: now... Let's see if we can't figure out how to activate this huge place...

GIR: hey look! There's another ship burning up!

Zim: eh? Another ship?

Sure enough a second ship was crashing towards the plateau. This one was larger than Zims ship and was trying to slow down. It crashed hard and almost explodes.

Zim: ooooh... That's a little ugly. Let's go check it out GIR.

GIR: oooooooh.

The duo walk to the craft and find dead humans everywhere. Zim was horrified.

Zim: AHHH! HUMANS! how... HOW DID HUMANS GET THIS FAR OUT.? perhaps... Perhaps they were following me.. Maybe they wanted to stop me.. The Dib. Yes the dib.. Maybe he has something to do with this.. AND... No... This . THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE! GIR!

GIR: Yes master?!

Zim: GIR! QUICKLY! Eat these humans before we are noticed!

GIR giggles and prepared to start,when zim heard noise from inside the ship. Zim grabbed Gir and his behind a solid rock. As he peeked. A large tall armor clad figure stepped out of the ship and looked all around at the bodies. He grabbed weapons, ammo, and other supplies, and then proceeded to walk off.

Zim: too late to do anything... That human... He needs to be destroyed...

GIR: I don't know... He looks kinda tough... And mean looking.

Zim: if he's anything like the Video game you're probably right GIR. He could be a serious threat to the mission. We need to destroy him carefully.

Suddenly Zim saw banshees in the Sky. He quickly moved to a better spot and used it to avoid being seen.

GIR: oooooooh... Those flying things make me think of chicken...

Zim: No no no no no! GIR! Don't blow our cover! That human will find us!

GIR: HI CHICKENS!

Zim was horrified. He grabbed GIR and shoved him into a small crack in a rock. The banshees didn't seem to notice. But the Giant metal human did.

Zim: ack! He saw us! GIR! How could you!

The human came after Zim, but he stopped and just looked at him.

Chief: Cortana... What exactly am I looking at?

Cortana: not sure. It isn't covenant... But its certainly alien.

Chief: should I kill it?

Cortana: negative. Seems to stupid to be a threat to us. Leave it alone. We will have to investigate it later... CHIEF! the banshees are coming around. And a small covenant patrol saw you!

Chief took cover and Zim growled.

Zim: FOOLS! NO ONE MISTAKES ZIM FOR A LACK OF A THREAT! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY! EH.. AAUUUUUUUUUGH!

Zim started running. The banshees began yi chase him instead of master chief. The covenant patrol also began to shoot at zim. He ran in zigzags and circles trying go dodge enemy fire. He picked up a large rock and threw it at a banshee. The rock lodges in the cockpit and kills the pilot. The banshee that was hit swerved and crashed into its wingman. They both explode and the debris rains down on the patrol. Squishing them like bugs.

Zim: eh?!... Ummmm. VICTORY! Now to focus on destroying the... WHAAAAAAAAA?!. HES GONE?!

Master chief had walked off in the chaos of zim fighting the covenant.

Zim: this isn't over yet human. I will find you and I will destroy you...

GIR: YAY! LETS MAKE BISCUITS!


End file.
